New Year's Resolutions: The Good, The Clichéd and The Just-Plain-Ridiculous

Happy almost-new year, lovely people! It's been a while, but finally I thought it's about time I start blogging again - starting with sharing my resolutions with you as this year draws to a close. They may not be all that interesting or original (wow, I'm really selling this to you, aren't I?) but hopefully it will encourage you to come up with your own and consequently feel excited about the year ahead.

Typically, resolutions are all about giving things up, whether it's losing weight, quitting smoking or resisting chocolate. The problem with this is that by the time February comes, people usually end up as bitter quivering wrecks, despairing at having fallen at the first hurdle. Just picture it: an impossibly slender woman jogs past on an advert for some sports drink. You go to shake your fist angrily at the television, then to your horror realise that your arm is in fact too heavy to lift off the floor. In desperation, you reach into the Quality Street box left over from Christmas, but alas! Only the ridiculously hard ones that break your teeth are left, yet you eat them anyway in a last-ditch attempt to alleviate your misery. Now you feel even worse, because nobody could fancy a toothless chocolate addict.

So, my resolutions this year are going to focus on taking action, whether that means taking on fresh challenges or trying to become a better person. Perhaps then I'll be able to stick to them.

Here goes...bear with me...

Go to another music festival - I miss the atmosphere and raw energy of live music. Who's up for coming with me to one this summer?

Take up swing-dancing or salsa - Because having fun is infinitely more important than looking like a twat.

Write more and have the courage to enter short story competitions - In writing, I can express myself much more eloquently than speaking. Just need to find the confidence for this one. I'm sure it's hiding somewhere. Perhaps under the sofa?

Play more piano/take up a new instrument like guitar or bongo drums - I've had a passion for piano since the ickle age of five. It's about time I rekindled it.

Pass driving test without crashing/killing poor innocent bystander - Even though I don't need to drive while at uni, I should really learn before I graduate and real life kicks in!

See more of the world - Because the world is out there waiting to be discovered. Yes I'm aware I sound like a Lonely Planet ad.

Keep things in perspective - There are many people that get dealt a bad hand in life, and how do they react? By getting on with it and not wallowing in self-pity. Instead of feeling hard done-by when things get tough, I'll be sure to count my blessings.

Spend more time with family - Sometimes I don't realise how remarkably lucky I am to have such a wonderful, caring family who are always there for me. This Christmas made me realise that I should cherish the time I have with them before it's too late.

Make more effort with friends - Similarly, I'm incredibly lucky to have such amazing, supportive friends. I'm going to make sure they know how special they are, and how much I appreciate them.

Put 100% into societies and volunteering at uni - I'd love to make a real difference and do the best I possibly can for the things I'm involved in at uni, and most importantly make the new people as welcome and settled as I felt when I joined initially.

Do something that scares me - So that I can say I've survived it!

Be more considerate - We all have selfish tendencies, but from now on I'm going to make a conscious effort to put others first.

Strike up conversations with strangers - Who knows, I could make a friend for life whilst waiting in a queue in Tesco!

Do at least one nice thing for someone every day - Because if you think about it, we're all on this planet together so why not help each other?

Perform a duet with Jools Holland - That man is a legend.

Hire Yoda as my life coach - Wise, he is.

Now it's your turn! I wish you a happy, healthy and downright wonderful 2012 :)

Bravery Over Beauty

I will be the first to admit that I'm not perfect. I'm certainly no Kate Winslet. My nose is the size of Pluto (the planet, not the dog) and my legs leave a lot to be desired. Yet I can accept these flaws, because I don't consider them to be a priority. The other day I ventured into town without make-up, and despite feeling self-conscious at first it was one of the most liberating experiences I have had so far. You stop anxiously checking your reflection in the shop windows and focus on other aspects, like intelligent conversation and having fun with the people you care about. I make it my mission every day to attempt to be a good person and friend, and focus on the positive things about myself and others. Shouldn't this be more important?

Have a look at the inspirational stories of the two incredible, courageous women below:

http://www.katiepiperfoundation.org.uk/meet-katie/

http://www.guardian.co.uk/artanddesign/2011/aug/05/esther-sabetpour-interview-joanna-moorhead

True beauty is not defined by owning the latest mascara: it's overcoming your imperfections, caring about other people rather than just yourself, staring your fears in the face and fighting for what you feel strongly about. We all have so many more positive qualities than negative, but it's the latter we choose to dwell on. Instead of fretting over the size of our waists, we should be more concerned about how wide our smiles are.

Great Ormond Street Hospital: A Million Memories For A Million Pounds

Blogs can be used for lots of things, and one of them is to raise awareness of important campaigns. With that in mind, I want to share with you a campaign for what I consider to be one of the most amazing and worthy causes! G.O.S.H. is incredibly special to me as without their extraordinary care when I was a premature baby (diagnosed at the time as terminally ill), I wouldn't be alive today typing this. 

However, there are so many others that need treatment right now. In fact, they're dependent on it. It gives them hope for the future they could have; a future that they might never have imagined was possible before receiving such care. And G.O.S.H. are relying on you for help. Go to the link in the article below to potentially transform thousands of little lives. :) 

http://www.thirdsector.co.uk/channels/Communications/Article/1082514/Digital-Campaign-Week-Great-Ormond-Street-Hospital-Childrens-Charity/

Personally, my first Disney memory happened at Disneyland Paris when I was little. I was wearing a Pluto scrunchie at the time (I was a cool kid...) and stood next to Pluto, who glanced at it and gave me a thumbs-up. What a proud moment ;) 

That's nothing compared to the other memories on the 'Disney Memories' page set up specifically for the campaign, though. See for yourself; they're truly heartwarming. It's lovely to see that so many kids' lives, which are otherwise fraught with difficulties that I can't even begin to imagine due to illness, have been transformed with a simple sprinkling of Disney magic. That is undoubtedly an experience they'll treasure for the rest of their lives, regardless of how much - or indeed how little - time they have left.

Paws For Thought

I've loved dogs ever since I can remember - big ones, small ones, spotty ones and I can even tolerate the tiny yappy ones. Even when I was little, I preferred Lady and the Tramp to Aristocats, never missed an episode of Wishbone and fantasised about owning 101 dalmations (later realising the reality might be slightly different from the film). When I blew out the candles on the birthday cake each year, my one wish would always be to have a dog. Maybe even two if I wished really hard. As my parents had full-time jobs it wouldn't have been fair to have one cooped up in the house all day on their lonesome, so instead I settled for living vicariously through my friends and relatives' dogs: playing fetch with them and giving them walks whenever I had the chance.

Without a doubt, my absolute favourite of all was Poppy, my mum's friend's dog. She had an uncanny intelligence as well as endless energy and curiosity, and every time we visited she would greet me as if I were an old friend. I became so fond of her that I even wrote a short story about her in primary school. Her owner Meg loved to paint, and so the walls of their living room were covered in beautiful works of art, most of which were strikingly lifelike versions of Poppy starting from when she was a puppy right up until the present. It was clear to see how much Meg adored her, and of course vice versa.

So imagine my sadness when I was told, just now, that she had died some weeks ago.

I felt numb. A cherished friend, one who I always looked forward to seeing, is gone. She will no longer be greeting me at the door when we visit, barking excitedly. But then my mind flashed back to my last memory of Poppy. She was lying across my lap as I softly stroked her fur, staring up at me with her coal-black eyes. Meg looked over and said, 'That's a look of pure adoration, that is.' I couldn't have asked for a better final moment.

A person can learn a lot from a dog: friendship, selflessness, affection, how to find joy in simply going for a long walk and above all, unwavering loyalty. When they rush to greet you at the door after a long day, all your stress melts away and their enthusiasm at seeing you makes you feel like you're the only person in the world that matters to them. You'll be hard-pressed to find a more rewarding feeling than that. So, next time you get irritated at your dog for wanting to play when you're working or nuzzling up to you when you're busy talking on the phone, just keep that in mind.

'A dog has no use for fancy cars or big homes or designer clothes. Status symbol means nothing to him. A waterlogged stick will do just fine. A dog judges others not by their color or creed or class but by who they are inside. A dog doesn't care if you are rich or poor, educated or illiterate, clever or dull. Give him your heart and he will give you his.' - John Grogan

Short Review of HP and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

Just thought I'd try my hand at a film review... Not sure how good it is, but I at least gave it a go!

*WARNING: SPOILERS...LOTS OF THEM*

Ten years have been building up to this moment, a film which marks the end of many people's childhoods, and it certainly does not disappoint. In fact, it surpasses all expectations. This is powerful stuff.

Snape's memory montage was the emotional pinnacle for me: to see his anguish and vulnerability, previously concealed beneath a controlled, icy exterior was absolutely heartbreaking, and made all the more real as he was clutching Lily's body in despair. Alan Rickman undoubtedly deserves an award, or several million, for his powerful performance. Another highlight of the film was Neville's heroism, demonstrated in scenes which were brilliantly triumphant and caused an entire cinema to cheer for his character, sending a message of hope and strength to underdogs everywhere. The long-awaited kiss between Ron and Hermione - proving, once and for all, that there is truth in that old cliche 'opposites attract' - provided a glimpse of joy amongst all the darkness and devastation.

The soundtrack was breathtakingly profound and sweeping, giving a sense of poignancy and gravitas to the most significant scenes. The epilogue, which could have so easily been cheesy and overdone, was actually incredibly touching. I had tears in my eyes as the characters waved their children off at the train station to embark on a new adventure (hopefully one with less deaths). In a nutshell, it is everything you'd hope the finale would be and so much more.

Final Day of Teaching + Final Harry Potter = An Emotional Day!

So, I've done it. I have survived two weeks of teaching in a foreign country armed only with a handful of lesson plans, and I stuck it out until the end. Finally, I've put my issues with confidence aside to do something worthwhile.

And it may sound egotistical to say so, but I'm pretty damn proud of that.

I was lucky enough to have a lovely class on the last day who were happy to just sit and chat about what life was like in Britain, and the traditions of their culture. I sincerely hope that they got something out of it. I told a few of the girls in the class I'd write references for them for the universities they apply to, which I think put them at ease a little. They have nothing to worry about though; their English was incredible. Certainly better than my Romanian... At the end, both classes got their certificates and the glow of pride on their faces was enough to make all the challenges worth it. It was quite emotional saying goodbye to Andra as I now consider her a friend despite having only known her a couple of weeks, but I said that it wasn't really goodbye as she'd be coming to London soon and I'd be her tour guide. She gave me one of her favourite English books and wrote a little message inside, which was really sweet and something that I'll definitely treasure.

After the last ever lesson we headed off to see the final Harry Potter, and it was powerful stuff indeed (see my review in the next blog post). I was so engrossed in it all that I didn't even mind the Romanian subtitles!

Of course, everyone else on the SCROLL project should be proud of themselves. I got to know a couple of other girls on the scheme in Arad a little better during the trip who were absolutely lovely, but didn't give themselves enough credit as it sounded like they'd done an amazing job. They had clearly made a big impact on their kids.

It just goes to show that when you stick with something and don't give up, especially if it isn't easy, you really can make a positive difference. I intend to keep pushing myself out of my comfort zone in the future: only then can you have new, exciting adventures, meet new people from all walks of life and become a better person. Only then can you do things that are truly worthwhile.

Romanian Adventure - Penultimate Day

The end is nigh. (dun-dun-dunnnn!)

Today was my penultimate day of teaching in Romania: the finish line is in sight! Despite the fact that the group was a lot smaller, it actually worked better as the students who weren't really keen on speaking aloud were given more of a chance to come out of their shell which was fantastic, and made me feel like they were finally getting something out of it. One game involved choosing a topic to discuss e.g. the last book you read, one thing you would do if you had 24 hours to live etc, and then throwing a frisbee to each person - whoever catches it had to tell the rest of the group their experience of whatever the topic was. This was pretty eye-opening and they all had interesting stories to tell. It felt a lot more comfortable and relaxed today as they were an absolutely lovely group, meaning I didn't have to constantly remind people to talk 'in Engleza' or to zip it when someone else was talking. I'm so glad I could get them speaking (fairly) confidently before I left - even if they've hated the lessons, I've achieved that much at least. I hope they feel encouraged after today; their English is so much better than they realise. They should be proud of themselves!

The best part of today was when me and Andra exchanged gifts - felt like Christmas Eve! She gave me some beautiful friendship bracelets amongst other homemade goodies. That simple gesture alone made coming here worthwhile.

Romanian Adventure - End of First Week

I survived my first week of teaching! Yes, really!

To celebrate the end of my first week, Andra took me to a karaoke bar which was great fun and, after some dutch courage, I actually sang. Too bad the people there weren't wearing earplugs. I think they enjoyed my air guitar solo though. Who wouldn't?! Then this morning while we watched TV, Gilmore Girls came on and I bonded with her mum over a shared love of the show :D

I think the last couple of days have gone a lot better - mainly because we played games! But the kids were still using English so it was educational...or at least that's my reasoning! Our version of 'Countdown' worked wonders and got everyone pretty competitive, which can only be a good thing. The funniest game was 'Darling, if you love me please just smile' which is where you all stand in a circle with someone in the middle, then that someone has to say to each person 'Darling, if you love me please just smile!' to which they reply 'I love you, but I can't smile'. If they smile or laugh, they swap places and so on. It was hilariously awkward and definitely broke the ice! We also talked as a group about some wacky British traditions like cheese-rolling contests, London and where we'd travelled. I much prefer that to being at the front of the class with all eyes on me - I want to get to know them and talk with them rather than at them; be on their level.

Let's face it, my lessons this week were a bit of a shambles as all the stuff I had planned either didn't go down well or lasted about 5 minutes. So next week, I'll learn from this and try to include more variety and active learning in the lessons, like debates, roleplays, presentations. Maybe even show them a clip of 'The Only Way Is Essex' so they can see an 'accurate' portrayal of where I come from ;) Apparently last year they had a mock Dragon's Den session and loved it, so might give that a go too.

They're great kids, really interesting to talk to and have so much potential :) Just hope that they come back next week...

Romanian Adventure - Days 2 - 3

The Challenge
So I'm going through a bit of a confidence crisis at the moment. My class of teenagers is a lot smaller than I expected, which would usually be a good thing as it makes for a more relaxed atmosphere but I'm kind of struggling to get them enthused. I've planned loads of things, scoured ESL/TEFL forums etc, but nothing seems to last very long and everyone seems bored which obviously makes me feel awful as I really want them to enjoy it! Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining at all - my host family, their neighbours, the teachers and fellow ScRoLLie at the school are all incredibly friendly and everything else is amazing; I feel so lucky to be here. I just wish that I could experience the thrill of that moment when the class has fun doing an activity that I've set.

How I'll Overcome It

Stay positive - The former president of the ScRoLL society kindly offered to give me advice and managed to put me at ease by explaining that while it is really difficult, that age group are less forthcoming about showing their appreciation. This suddenly made me think: why am I allowing myself to wallow in self-pity? Seriously? I've got a once-in-a-lifetime chance to teach English in Romania; an opportunity which will most likely never arise again. Why not make the most of it and stop feeling sorry for myself? I may be far from the best teacher in the world, but this experience is essentially a challenge to be overcome. And I can overcome it.

Don't compare myself to everyone else - From the Facebook statuses of everyone else on the scheme, it seems like they're all naturals. But when did anyone ever accomplish anything by considering themselves to be inferior to other people? Having done this in the past, I know all too well that it's destructive and no good comes of it. At the end of the day we are all in the same boat, and it's much more beneficial to learn from and help each other than focus inwards and begin to resent people for being 'so much better' than you. Compare yourself to yourself, rather than to others. Focus on how much you have grown, your achievements and the progress you have made towards your goals. Think about how you measure up to your own standards - not what you think everyone expects of you. This way, you feel good about yourself without having to think less of other people.

There's always tomorrow - I've got two whole weeks to improve, and get to know the kids; work out what makes them tick and what they're interested in. It can only get better, right? With that in mind, I intend to pick myself up, dust myself off and start again tomorrow.

The moral of the story is: chin up! Don't allow yourself to fall at the first hurdle. If you constantly have the 'I'm going to suck at this' mentality then chances are you will, and you're more likely to just give up and become an insecure mess. Giving up is easy. But if you are aware that you're not good at something yet give it all you've got regardless, which is a lot more difficult but so much more rewarding, you might even find that you get better with time. After all, there's nothing rewarding about giving up, is there?

I hope this helps anyone whose confidence has taken a dive, for whatever reason :)

Romanian Adventure - Day 1

As I'm typing this, I'm sitting in a room in my host family's apartment in the gorgeous city of Arad, Romania:

My hosts are a girl named Andra who speaks amazing English, certainly better than my Romanian, and her mum. I hit the jackpot with them as they're incredibly friendly and welcoming, and I haven't been left on my own at all...yet! Last night, Andra took me to an awesome club which plays strictly 80s music, complete with cheesy disco balls. When we opened the doors to go in, we were confronted with a pretty bizarre sight: a bride in her wedding dress was climbing the stairs followed by a throng of bridesmaids. Not something you see every day! Andra told me that it's a tradition on the evening of the wedding to 'steal' the bride from the party and take her to a club, then demand alcohol as 'ransom'. Anyone reckon this idea should be introduced in England? ;)

Will write in more detail later on, as my first day of teaching to a class full of Romanian students (an experience which I'm even more terrified about than that time when my little cousin persuaded me to go on a roller coaster with a 110 foot vertical drop...yes, I know, I'm a wimp) is tomorrow and being late wouldn't make the greatest impression. But I've made it this far, so I'll stick it out. Hopefully it won't be too much of a disaster. What will be will be, and all that jazz.

La revedere for now!

P.S If anyone reading this has had experience of teaching ESL, please give me some much-needed tips! Thanks :)

Hope

I had a lump in my throat after watching the video below, despite personally being straight. The optimism and strength of these people is something I think we can all learn from regardless of our sexuality. You can see their raw emotion when they're speaking about their experiences, and it's clear how they've grown from them. After all, I believe our past doesn't define us: it's our present that does; it's who we are now as a person that's really important. If it gives even one person the confidence to stand up for and be proud of who they are, that's all that matters. 

Hell, it might even be a stepping stone to making the world more accepting and tolerant. Here's hoping. :)

 

The 85-Year-Old Test

Found this on t'internet earlier, and thought I'd share it:

Imagine that you are 85 years old. When you look back on your life, you feel happy and proud. You were, most of the time, the best person you could be. The world, or at least the part of it you lived in and the people you touched, is better off because of you. 

How did you live your life?

Thanks for dropping by...

Is it just me or does the title of this blog sound kind of sinister? Like it should be read in Alan Rickman's voice and accompanied by an evil laugh? Anyway, for whoever's reading this: firstly THANK YOU, you've made my view count go up and given my self-esteem a little boost as a result, so you've done your good deed for the day ;) I've just set this blog up, and will put up short stories, reviews (music, books and films) and general thoughts/opinions/observations on stuff in the coming weeks which I hope will be interesting to someone. When July rolls around, I plan to be documenting my experiences of teaching at a summer school in Romania for 2 weeks, as part of the ScRoLL scheme at my uni! In my opinion you should stay tuned for that at least. Then again, I'm slightly biased.

Any comments, ideas for future posts or just leaving a comment to say hi and introduce yourself would be muchly appreciated; I'd love to hear from anyone and everyone seeing as I'm a newbie to the blog community! :)

Life, the universe and everything.

It’s easy to take being alive for granted. Too often we fail to realise just how lucky we are to even exist; how fragile life is. But I know someone who does. 

What would you do if you had a long-term illness that was slowly making you weaker? Skydive, swim with dolphins, travel the world? We’d probably get things done a lot quicker instead of putting them off till tomorrow. Some people are just trying to make it through today. One of my close friends, who suffers from a tumour that is gradually eating away at him, bought himself a motorbike. Always on the go and instantly likeable, he is the personification of optimism; there isn’t one time I haven’t seen him smiling. Even now, as he’s undergoing treatment and has lost all his hair, confined to a wheelchair and enduring fits of coughing, he takes it in his stride. He is not afraid to make jokes and invite friends over because, of course, he’s still the same person and they accept him no matter what. It’s only the outside that’s different. Unfortunately, the increasing severity of his condition means no more motorbike racing for the foreseeable future. He doesn’t let this get him down, though. There’s no way he’s giving up that easily. 

Despite not having a clue about what’s going to happen tomorrow, this week, month, year, he’s embracing life and all that it has to offer. Personally, I think we should all take a leaf out of his book. If we dwell on things too much, we forget to just live for today. Instead of retreating into the internet – comfortable, familiar, safe – and writing ‘FML’ due to the most trivial of things, we should get out there and make the most of our lives. If someone criticises you, don't internalise it: prove them wrong. Do something nice for someone anonymously. Help those less fortunate than you - not just because you get self-satisfaction from it, but because you actually want to improve their quality of life. Do something that scares the hell out of you. Find a cause you're passionate about and fight for it. It might sound like I'm being preachy, but really I can't see anything negative in any of these things - can you?

It's true that the only opportunities you regret are the ones you're afraid to take. And there's no better time to start than right now. You can either get to the stage where you're looking back on your life, shaking your head sadly and thinking 'if only...' or look back only with the happiest of memories.

Your choice.