Romanian Adventure - Days 2 - 3

The Challenge
So I'm going through a bit of a confidence crisis at the moment. My class of teenagers is a lot smaller than I expected, which would usually be a good thing as it makes for a more relaxed atmosphere but I'm kind of struggling to get them enthused. I've planned loads of things, scoured ESL/TEFL forums etc, but nothing seems to last very long and everyone seems bored which obviously makes me feel awful as I really want them to enjoy it! Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining at all - my host family, their neighbours, the teachers and fellow ScRoLLie at the school are all incredibly friendly and everything else is amazing; I feel so lucky to be here. I just wish that I could experience the thrill of that moment when the class has fun doing an activity that I've set.

How I'll Overcome It

Stay positive - The former president of the ScRoLL society kindly offered to give me advice and managed to put me at ease by explaining that while it is really difficult, that age group are less forthcoming about showing their appreciation. This suddenly made me think: why am I allowing myself to wallow in self-pity? Seriously? I've got a once-in-a-lifetime chance to teach English in Romania; an opportunity which will most likely never arise again. Why not make the most of it and stop feeling sorry for myself? I may be far from the best teacher in the world, but this experience is essentially a challenge to be overcome. And I can overcome it.

Don't compare myself to everyone else - From the Facebook statuses of everyone else on the scheme, it seems like they're all naturals. But when did anyone ever accomplish anything by considering themselves to be inferior to other people? Having done this in the past, I know all too well that it's destructive and no good comes of it. At the end of the day we are all in the same boat, and it's much more beneficial to learn from and help each other than focus inwards and begin to resent people for being 'so much better' than you. Compare yourself to yourself, rather than to others. Focus on how much you have grown, your achievements and the progress you have made towards your goals. Think about how you measure up to your own standards - not what you think everyone expects of you. This way, you feel good about yourself without having to think less of other people.

There's always tomorrow - I've got two whole weeks to improve, and get to know the kids; work out what makes them tick and what they're interested in. It can only get better, right? With that in mind, I intend to pick myself up, dust myself off and start again tomorrow.

The moral of the story is: chin up! Don't allow yourself to fall at the first hurdle. If you constantly have the 'I'm going to suck at this' mentality then chances are you will, and you're more likely to just give up and become an insecure mess. Giving up is easy. But if you are aware that you're not good at something yet give it all you've got regardless, which is a lot more difficult but so much more rewarding, you might even find that you get better with time. After all, there's nothing rewarding about giving up, is there?

I hope this helps anyone whose confidence has taken a dive, for whatever reason :)