The Glad Game

Hayley Mills as Pollyanna (1960). N'aww.

“When you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will.”

Makes sense, doesn’t it? But the opposite can be said for Pollyanna, the eternal optimist of the 1960 film who looks for nothing but the good in the people around her, and finds it. Even the most cynical person would be hard-pressed to not be moved in some way by her outlook. I watched it yesterday, and it really struck a chord with me. This is a girl who spreads positivity and kindness wherever she goes; changing the initially gloomy outlook of her community and even melting the heart of the most Scrooge-like man in town. Before you make gagging sounds and think what an obnoxious little twat, just hear me out.

So what keeps Pollyanna so sunny and upbeat throughout the film? It’s her father’s creation, ‘The Glad Game’. The basic gist of the game is that you take something perceived as negative and turn it into something positive, finding something to be ‘glad’ about in every situation. This is put to the ultimate test when she loses the use of her legs, but then the people of the town pay her a visit to let her know just how much her encouragement has changed their lives.

After the film, I decided to incorporate the Glad Game into my own life. There are some days when I feel down to the extent that I give Marvin the Paranoid Android a run for his money, but then I remember that when you're happy, that in turn makes others happy, even if you don't feel it inwardly. Attitude is everything. When you go through life with that mindset, you get a lot more out of it than if you look for the worst in everyone and everything. For every depressed or even suicidal thought that enters our minds, it's important to remind ourselves that our hearts are still beating; our hand can still reach across and squeeze someone else's to comfort them; our stomach can still experience butterflies when we kiss someone for the first time; our eyes can still witness the world in all its beauty or a piece of music that gives us goose bumps. Some people don't even have sight or hearing, yet this doesn't stop them living life. No matter how old you are, there are still so many possibilities to unravel, so many adventures to be had, so many people to learn from and be inspired by. We're alive, and we therefore have the power to change things.

Now, I’m not suggesting that we go skipping around in 60s dresses, wearing yellow ribbons in our hair and speaking in sugar-sweet voices (although you’ve got to admit that would be fun). It’s impossible to be cheerful all the time - sometimes, life throws us a curveball and there seems to be no rhyme or reason for it. Without the bad times, we wouldn't appreciate the good; but we can all find something to be glad about.

Even if it’s just the fact that this piece is over ;)

Creative Writing: Cruella De Vil

I used to be a star. Everyone I encountered feared, worshipped or despised me. And that’s exactly the way I liked it – until that sickening couple and their wretched Dalmatians ruined everything.

So here I am, freshly released from prison yet with none of my followers to welcome me with cautious, terrified arms. All I have left from that life is my beautiful spotted coat. No matter how adorable the puppy supposedly was, no-one can deny that I look utterly ravishing. To be able to once again run my fingers along the silky-smooth fur feels heavenly. 

“Miss De Vil? You’re on in three,” someone informs me. I raise my chin, take a deep breath and walk into the studio, my coat flowing behind me. This is my one chance to regain some sort of celebrity status, however small. Apparently the show claims to give you a “make-under” and transform you into a “natural” beauty. It sounds truly horrific. 

I am faced with a large rectangular mirror. My reflection stares back at me: fashionably dishevelled black-and-white hair; eyebrows waxed to within an inch of their life; liberal use of eyeliner; razor-sharp cheekbones. My lips curl upwards into the trademark sinister smile that I’ve mastered over the years. Perfection. 

“I’d wipe that smug smile off your face, if I were you,” a deep female voice comes from nowhere. Startled, my eyes dart around the studio in an attempt to figure out the source. 

“Over here, dah-ling,” the voice responds from behind the mirror. I feel a surge of anger. How dare she mimic my charming catchphrase? 

“Well, well. You are a special case indeed.” Defensively, I wrap my coat around myself.

“You do realise that you have a dead dog draped around your shoulders, don’t you?” she says scathingly.  

“This happens to be my favourite coat. Vintage Dalmatian, darling. I take great pride in it.” I fold my arms resolutely across my chest for emphasis. 

“You’re proud of that…thing?” the voice sneers. “And as for that hair – frankly, you resemble a skunk that’s just been electrocuted.” I gasp in disbelief, and have to resist the impulse to smooth my hair down. 

“Why do you even wear that?” the voice asks. “Don’t you have a heart? Or is it buried somewhere underneath the dead puppy?”

What is she, an animal rights activist?

“It happens to be the height of fashion actually, darling. Those whimpering little brats don’t know any different,” I retort, giving my coat a defiant swish. 

“You know they do,” the voice replies, steadily. “The reason they whimper is because of the atrocities you do to them in the name of fashion.” Unexpectedly, the stinging truth of her words send tears springing to my eyelids, and I bite my tongue fiercely to stop them falling. For some inexplicable reason, hearing someone else say what I already know has more of an effect than I anticipated.

Keep it together, Cruella. You’re stronger than this. Show the world just how much you don’t care. 

“It’s not my problem,” I say, though I’m acutely aware of the tremble in my voice. The cracks in my mask are beginning to show. I can’t let this happen.

“I’m going to have fun taking you apart,” the voice hisses.

“Do your worst,” I snarl. I’m taken to a room where I’m blindfolded, poked and prodded, and eventually the voice asks: “Are you ready for your close-up, Miss De Vil?” I nod tentatively, the blindfold is removed and I’m standing in front of the mirror again. But I don’t recognise the face staring back.

The woman in the mirror looks... Normal. Her hair is black all over, sleek, shiny. The coat is gone, revealing a remarkably decent figure. What surprises me most, however, is that I don’t hate it.

“Have we proved to you that you don’t need a dead animal on your arm to look good?” the voice asks.

I look directly into the mirror. Into the stranger’s eyes.

“It’s not horrendous,” I say, trying to hide the hint of a smile that threatens to play on my lips.

“Don’t go back to your old ways, now,” the voice warns. 

“I…I don’t think I will,” I reply slowly, and for a moment I honestly believe it.

Walking out of the studio, I spot a dog tied to a lamppost, obediently waiting for its owner. Such beautiful, honey-golden fur. And then I realise that my new image is missing a vital ingredient.

A nice new scarf.

Being a Mouse with a Lion’s Heart in a Dog-Eat-Dog World: The Power of Introverts

 

‘Some of our greatest ideas, art, and inventions – from the theory of evolution to Van Gogh's sunflowers to the personal computer – came from quiet and cerebral people who knew how to tune in to their inner worlds and the treasures to be found there. Without introverts, the world would be devoid of Newton's theory of gravity, Einstein's theory of relativity, WB Yeats's The Second Coming, Chopin's nocturnes, Proust's In Search of Lost Time, Peter Pan, Orwell's Nineteen Eighty-Four, The Cat in the Hat, Charlie Brown, the films of Steven Spielberg, Google (co-founded by introvert Larry Page) and Harry Potter.’ – Susan Cain

Recently I watched a brilliantly insightful and interesting TED presentation by Susan Cain on why the world needs quiet people. In the video, she passionately defends introverts, arguing that they bring amazing talents and abilities to the world, and so should be encouraged and celebrated (personally, I couldn’t agree more). I definitely recommend you watch it.

She also talks about how, sometimes, introverts suppress their own nature in order to conform to the ‘norm’ or Extrovert Ideal by deliberately pushing themselves out of their comfort zones and facing their fears. Now, while this is a fantastic way to experience all that life has to offer and increase your confidence, too much of this could cause you to lose sight of who you really are. And that can only lead to unhappiness. 

All this made me think about my own experiences. When I was small(er), I was quite shy and felt intimidated in group settings. I used to completely clam up when the teacher picked on me to answer a question. To this day, I instead relish one-on-one conversations with friends and love to listen to other people. Was there something wrong with me? No: that’s just who I was. 

Then, something magic happened. I discovered books, and writing, and music and films; the things that make you think, laugh, cry and feel inspired in equal measure. And it gave me this strange kind of inner confidence. I immersed myself in fictional worlds and sympathised with people who were merely a figment of someone’s imagination, which taught me empathy. I learned that I could express myself much more easily through words on a page than speaking out loud. I discovered the electrifying buzz, that tingling shiver-down-the-spine feeling that music can give you, and the sense of accomplishment that you can get when you teach yourself to play something that, miraculously, sounds decent. I started doing (pretty lousy) impressions of characters from films, which was how I fell in love with acting. It made me feel alive: stepping into someone else’s shoes meant that I could strip back the shyness that had been holding me back, and slip into something more confident and free. Before approaching someone, I would pretend that I was role-playing someone who was self-assured and unafraid. 

With the support of my amazing family and friends, I learned to internalise that feeling, and eventually I wasn’t acting anymore: I knew I had that confidence within me. The key was to be comfortable with just being myself. I mean, let’s face it, I’m never going to be the life and soul of the party, or a social butterfly – but to be honest with you, I’d rather have those few meaningful, authentic connections than a superficial mass of people who I can never get past small talk with.  

What I’m essentially trying to say is: if you identify yourself as an introvert, don’t try to change yourself just to fit in with society’s expectations of the Extrovert Ideal. As much as the world needs outgoing people, the world equally needs people like you. By all means challenge yourself, and be outwardly confident when the situation calls for it, but most importantly be happy with who you are; hell, be proud of who you are. Go on. I dare you.

The Brightest Flame Burns Quickest: A Tribute

You were the personification of optimism; I can't remember a time where you weren't smiling. You touched the lives of so many people with your amazing personality and sense of humour. While you were here, you embraced life and all that it had to offer. I can't believe you were taken from us so soon, it's so unfair. As a good friend said, often those who shine the brightest also shine for the shortest time. I feel immensely lucky to have had you as a friend and shared experiences with you, of which I wish there could be more. I learnt so much from you, and I will never forget you.

Joe with his sister Ellie

 

New Year's Resolutions: The Good, The Clichéd and The Just-Plain-Ridiculous

Happy almost-new year, lovely people! It's been a while, but finally I thought it's about time I start blogging again - starting with sharing my resolutions with you as this year draws to a close. They may not be all that interesting or original (wow, I'm really selling this to you, aren't I?) but hopefully it will encourage you to come up with your own and consequently feel excited about the year ahead.

Typically, resolutions are all about giving things up, whether it's losing weight, quitting smoking or resisting chocolate. The problem with this is that by the time February comes, people usually end up as bitter quivering wrecks, despairing at having fallen at the first hurdle. Just picture it: an impossibly slender woman jogs past on an advert for some sports drink. You go to shake your fist angrily at the television, then to your horror realise that your arm is in fact too heavy to lift off the floor. In desperation, you reach into the Quality Street box left over from Christmas, but alas! Only the ridiculously hard ones that break your teeth are left, yet you eat them anyway in a last-ditch attempt to alleviate your misery. Now you feel even worse, because nobody could fancy a toothless chocolate addict.

So, my resolutions this year are going to focus on taking action, whether that means taking on fresh challenges or trying to become a better person. Perhaps then I'll be able to stick to them.

Here goes...bear with me...

Go to another music festival - I miss the atmosphere and raw energy of live music. Who's up for coming with me to one this summer?

Take up swing-dancing or salsa - Because having fun is infinitely more important than looking like a twat.

Write more and have the courage to enter short story competitions - In writing, I can express myself much more eloquently than speaking. Just need to find the confidence for this one. I'm sure it's hiding somewhere. Perhaps under the sofa?

Play more piano/take up a new instrument like guitar or bongo drums - I've had a passion for piano since the ickle age of five. It's about time I rekindled it.

Pass driving test without crashing/killing poor innocent bystander - Even though I don't need to drive while at uni, I should really learn before I graduate and real life kicks in!

See more of the world - Because the world is out there waiting to be discovered. Yes I'm aware I sound like a Lonely Planet ad.

Keep things in perspective - There are many people that get dealt a bad hand in life, and how do they react? By getting on with it and not wallowing in self-pity. Instead of feeling hard done-by when things get tough, I'll be sure to count my blessings.

Spend more time with family - Sometimes I don't realise how remarkably lucky I am to have such a wonderful, caring family who are always there for me. This Christmas made me realise that I should cherish the time I have with them before it's too late.

Make more effort with friends - Similarly, I'm incredibly lucky to have such amazing, supportive friends. I'm going to make sure they know how special they are, and how much I appreciate them.

Put 100% into societies and volunteering at uni - I'd love to make a real difference and do the best I possibly can for the things I'm involved in at uni, and most importantly make the new people as welcome and settled as I felt when I joined initially.

Do something that scares me - So that I can say I've survived it!

Be more considerate - We all have selfish tendencies, but from now on I'm going to make a conscious effort to put others first.

Strike up conversations with strangers - Who knows, I could make a friend for life whilst waiting in a queue in Tesco!

Do at least one nice thing for someone every day - Because if you think about it, we're all on this planet together so why not help each other?

Perform a duet with Jools Holland - That man is a legend.

Hire Yoda as my life coach - Wise, he is.

Now it's your turn! I wish you a happy, healthy and downright wonderful 2012 :)

Bravery Over Beauty

I will be the first to admit that I'm not perfect. I'm certainly no Kate Winslet. My nose is the size of Pluto (the planet, not the dog) and my legs leave a lot to be desired. Yet I can accept these flaws, because I don't consider them to be a priority. The other day I ventured into town without make-up, and despite feeling self-conscious at first it was one of the most liberating experiences I have had so far. You stop anxiously checking your reflection in the shop windows and focus on other aspects, like intelligent conversation and having fun with the people you care about. I make it my mission every day to attempt to be a good person and friend, and focus on the positive things about myself and others. Shouldn't this be more important?

Have a look at the inspirational stories of the two incredible, courageous women below:

http://www.katiepiperfoundation.org.uk/meet-katie/

http://www.guardian.co.uk/artanddesign/2011/aug/05/esther-sabetpour-interview-joanna-moorhead

True beauty is not defined by owning the latest mascara: it's overcoming your imperfections, caring about other people rather than just yourself, staring your fears in the face and fighting for what you feel strongly about. We all have so many more positive qualities than negative, but it's the latter we choose to dwell on. Instead of fretting over the size of our waists, we should be more concerned about how wide our smiles are.

Great Ormond Street Hospital: A Million Memories For A Million Pounds

Blogs can be used for lots of things, and one of them is to raise awareness of important campaigns. With that in mind, I want to share with you a campaign for what I consider to be one of the most amazing and worthy causes! G.O.S.H. is incredibly special to me as without their extraordinary care when I was a premature baby (diagnosed at the time as terminally ill), I wouldn't be alive today typing this. 

However, there are so many others that need treatment right now. In fact, they're dependent on it. It gives them hope for the future they could have; a future that they might never have imagined was possible before receiving such care. And G.O.S.H. are relying on you for help. Go to the link in the article below to potentially transform thousands of little lives. :) 

http://www.thirdsector.co.uk/channels/Communications/Article/1082514/Digital-Campaign-Week-Great-Ormond-Street-Hospital-Childrens-Charity/

Personally, my first Disney memory happened at Disneyland Paris when I was little. I was wearing a Pluto scrunchie at the time (I was a cool kid...) and stood next to Pluto, who glanced at it and gave me a thumbs-up. What a proud moment ;) 

That's nothing compared to the other memories on the 'Disney Memories' page set up specifically for the campaign, though. See for yourself; they're truly heartwarming. It's lovely to see that so many kids' lives, which are otherwise fraught with difficulties that I can't even begin to imagine due to illness, have been transformed with a simple sprinkling of Disney magic. That is undoubtedly an experience they'll treasure for the rest of their lives, regardless of how much - or indeed how little - time they have left.